A 19 year-old looking like a 15


On my New Year’s Resolution post, I mentioned that I don’t want to push myself to change when I don’t feel the need to do it.

I just turned 19 last April 18 and I feel like it’s time to be really acting like how a normal 19-yr old lady would. To be honest, I don’t look my age.  I’m probably the only 19 whose eyebrows aren’t trimmed or drawn (and i have really thick brows).  I don’t own any Sunday dresses or make-ups (except the lipstick my mom gave me recently which I haven’t worn yet).  For solid 8 years, I never tried a new hair style.  I just use the same layered cut on different hair lengths.  Obviously, daring is absolutely out of the thousand other adjectives you can give me when it comes to fashion.  I’m a walking stereotype.

On my first random fact post, I admitted I prefer basic looks of clothes,  Black jeans, white shirt and other plain tees.  Simplicity was always my option and I feel good about that.  I’m comfortable with becoming predictable of what I’m wearing the next day.  In a way, that also adds up to my identity.  Moreover, it’s an up for me that people will remember me in the image that I feel I’m being my best self.  Simple and that’s who i am.

On a regular school day, there are only a couple of things I drag along with me.  One medium-sized bag with: phone, 2 pens, 1 mechanical pencil, 1 scientific calculator, 2 notebooks, 1 book, an umbrella, wallet, perfume, and a face powder.  Nope, I’m not describing what’s inside of my brother’s backpack.  See a typical girl would have 50% more things than mine for re-touch of make-up.  And I admire these girls for managing to always look pretty.  If that was me, I’d not even notice half the people who thinks I’m a guy for all the oil crawling down my nose.  Well, I’m not exactly that kind of gross but you know what I mean.

To total everything down, I want to change something in me.  I want to have a greater sense of femininity.  Taking care of yourself doesn’t only include being healthy and all that but it also says of how you do with yourself in general.  I think that I have to realize I’m not young enough anymore to not care how I look. Looking good is not only for the people who are looking at you. I know this is going to make me feel good and more confident.  This isn’t about making others like me or anything.  I just had the sense that I need to better my way of presenting myself.

I’ll keep wearing the things I’m comfortable in and put away the habits I think are not worth doing anymore.

I’ll keep the things that make me who I am and who I want to be and I will change the old habits of things that would make a better version of me.  


2 thoughts on “A 19 year-old looking like a 15”

  1. I can totally relate to this. I feel like I’ve been going through something similar lately. I love your last line about staying true to who you are but wanting to be a better version of yourself. I hope whatever changes you make help you to feel more confident!

    1. Some look at change like it means total transformation and to me that is just impossible, right?
      Thank you! And if you feel like you’re going through the same thing, remember that all you have to consider first is how do you want to see yourself. I guess that’s how you’ll know if you need/want to change or not.

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