Helplessness: that dull, sick feeling of not being the one at
the reins. When did you last feel like that –- and what did
you do about it?
Having the ability to hold control over a situation is both difficult and satisfying. Difficult in a way that you will have to take responsibility, however the situation turns. It’s your job to keep everything in their proper places. Satisfying in a way that it’s reassuring. You know exactly how things are working. There will be no one to tell you they have everything under control while you sit and wait for more information, because you are the control. Reassuring in a way that you have the information.
The last time I experienced not being the one at the reins? I am not sure. I guess it happens all the time. I have no control over what other people think of me. I can’t boss them and ask them to simply like me. That’s clearly a difficult thing to do. How do I feel about that? I don’t know either. What I know is that I should not care. How will I do that? Just live through each day for myself. And for the people I love and treasure most.