In less than one week from now, I am turning 20 years old. I honestly can’t believe it myself. I. Am. Turning. 20. Yesterday, I was only so excited to be 18, but now, I want to be five again.
They say aging is nothing compared to actually living with the responsibilities of adulthood. Age is just a number. Maturity is not inversely proportional to our age. For me, right now, my age is the greatest symbol of fear. It tells me a lot about how I should live my life. Technically, physically, emotionally. I have all these people around me telling me what and what not to do. There are so much to think about. For my present and for my future. All these and those. When you’re 19 and people lecture you about how your decisions now will affect the next days to come, how are you supposed to be calm and relaxed? What if I mess it up? What if I make the wrong choices? What if?
To be honest, I am scared. I am turning 20 and it scares me. Am I ready to take on the future? These days, I am only applying for an internship position as a requirement for completion of the curriculum of my program; but, I’m already worked up about it.
I am aware that this is the part where my “life begins” as they say. I am excited, too, but mostly I am scared.
Some kids my age are living the life of a real youngster. Hanging out on Friday and Saturday nights. They date and get to know other people or just go out with friends. I hang out with my friends, too. I don’t date. I have never dated anyone. I haven’t really thought about it, yet. I know soon I would want to, but I don’t think it’s going to be anytime soon until I graduate. Industrial Engineering is complicated enough to be committed with.
Don’t get me wrong, I am hyped about doing the best that I can to achieve success and happiness. I love life! I am just scared what else it holds for me. As I walk along this journey, I try my best to magnify the things in life that will matter more and most to live a happy life. And with that, it’s impossible not to see things that’ll make it difficult for me to achieve such contentment. So, give it to me that I have fears too, but I will keep my faith in the Higher Being, Lord.