There are lot of things I am looking forward to this 2017; one of those is completing my degree, aka probably the turning point of my life.
This year, I am set to graduate by early June. Although before that happens, I have to cap off my feasibility study, Certification Review and 15 more units of classes. Along the way, I’m probably facing a few or so mental breakdowns but I am pretty sure it’s worth it. While I have faced so much emotional and physical strains from all the past requirements, I have gained more than what I lost.
I am one of those 20 year olds who aren’t sure where they’re going or what they’re going to do after college but, still, I hope I get the diploma. It’s risky and scary to get out of the place that became home to you. After all the years you’ve been there, stayed there for all the good and the bad, with all the professors and random classmates, it’s become a place of comfort.
School in general has played a great role in shaping me to become the person I am today. While there are a lot of other factors that contribute to that, I should point out that school is where I met a lot of people, who in a way or more have brought the best out of me. It’s where I was opened to what kind of society I was living in and shall try to survive. It’s prepared me for the real deal that I have yet to make in the next chapters of my life. In it, I was young yet capable to become more and more. In it, I was raw but also a work in progress.
In 2017, I am hoping that all the things I have learned and gone through the past years will pay off.
Six days from now, freedom will be taken away once again. It’ll all be back to the usual cramming, research papers, exams, deadlines and professors. Anyhow, I’m excited how this coming term will turn out since I have signed up to a couple of organizations. This is to celebrate my last year in college (hopefully). I wish I could tell you more about it but I guess this year is going to be really exhausting. But, I shall say that it’s also very interesting to welcome my senior year with an unusual mix of optimism and cynicism. I guess I’m weird like that.
I have never been in a relationship; which is why I am totally clueless about how it feels to say “Yes” to a simple question for the first time in my life. I know it’s easy to say the word but what comes after that is what’s complicated. Who knows about the future anyway? We all make choices and we think we know for sure where we are and what we want until someone questions us. Would you commit to this? Well I thought I wasn’t ready to say yes, but I’m sure I’d not feel good saying ‘no’ either. The thing is, who says know to something beautiful as this?
I’m sorry to disappoint but this is no love story; just something about life and where a simple choice has taken me. I said yes and now, I am a member of this ministry in college — You think you know how things will transpire just because you know the purpose of what you’re doing, but you don’t. Being a member of LSYC, I personally thought it was just going to be my way of giving back all the blessings I received from God and from all the people who’ve been a blessing to me. Well, I thought wrong. Shall I tell you why?
People always say that you can’t give what you don’t have. As part of the ministry’s activities, I was able to spend some time with the kids and I realized something: you can’t have what you don’t give either. If you can’t give love to people, who would love you? If you won’t share your time with others, who would make time for you? I mean you could feel a bit old around a bunch of 6 year olds, but these kids’ smiles tell you something only your heart would recognize. Their innocence lightens us up, but you never realize how much it’ll inspire you until you share yourself to them. You come to them thinking that they need you, not realizing you need them, too. Involving ourselves in such activities have a way of teaching us more than we think we already know about life and God.
Now if you would ask me, where has saying yes taken me? It’s somewhere both the people we serve and I learn something about life, together. I’m not just saying ‘yes’ to helping other people anymore, but I’m also saying ‘yes’ to become a family to a friend.
You come to them thinking that they need you, not realizing you need them, too.
Almost a month and a week ago, I started my 300-hour internship at a manufacturing company. Actually, yesterday, our section went to hang out at a resort that’s close to where one of our engineers live.
My first day with them, I thought, okay let’s do this right and quick. As I was introducing myself, I was wondering deep inside whether I’d get attached to this new environment or will I ever want to go back even for just a visit. I pushed away the idea after a few days, after all, I was there to learn and not just collect friends. They were welcoming, but no one actually gets close and buddies in a day or two. To be honest, it took me a while before I got really comfortable moving around the office. I did my work quietly and smiled occasionally when they joked around. And then, I had a conversation with one of my superiors who is an engineer and I guess that’s when I really felt like I was part of the team. Instead of teaching me something about work, he shared with me something about life. He’s not much older than I am but I feel that he’s experienced life a lot differently than I did. As if he’s already gone through twice as much of I’ve only traveled. Actually, he inspires me to do better.
Tomorrow is going to be the last day of my internship. There’s so much to remember about life, career and proper work ethics and even attitude. I didn’t simply learn about the work they have but also about their family. They’ve all been together for a while and it’s a blessing to have known a group like them.
Today’s the 3rd day of examinations and tomorrow is going to be the day of my written tests for this first half of the second semester. It’s been exhausting. Although I’ve managed to keep a 7-hour sleep schedule, the fact that I forced myself to get up 5 am in the morning still made me tired. There were countless of pages for me to review and I could not make more time to finish them all. I was almost panicking but I had no choice but to trust the stock knowledge. And believe me, lately, there was hardly any. How am I even proud to say that part?
Well, thanks to my guts I can still survive the week and still have the energy for tomorrow. Besides, it’s all computation for Operations Research 3 so there’s nothing but formula to memorize. Equations? I can clear a little more space in my head for them to sit in. Words and theories? Not so much.
After this week, I’m going to have a few days break before we start on new chapters. I’m so looking forward to those days I couldn’t focus so much on studying.