At any point of our lives, there will come a time when we’ll feel insecure and unworthy. We’ll start to see more of other people’s achievements and even their goals, sometimes to the point that we set their achievements as our goals and their goals as our future plans. We tend to believe that what makes other people happy can make us feel contented of ours, as if there’s a written logic that says that.
Not knowing what you want makes it more inevitable to look at how other people get to live to do what they love to do. I’m not certain if this is general to all of us but, when I’m asked to do something but don’t know how to, I look for an example. Math problem. Research paper. Theories. I need examples and references for those. And when you’re new to something and are still in the learning process, it’s hard to deviate from the pattern. I would tend to copy the same process the example says. Because that’s easy. Because that’s the safest thing to begin with. Isn’t it?
And could that be wrong? To try to live the way other’s do? To try and know whether that was right or wrong? But how do we know what we want if we’re trying to live our lives based off other’s? I believe you’ll feel that along the way. You’ll understand that however hard you try to put your effort into it, it would not be enough. Because it’s not what you want. So I guess, it’s in the process of not knowing and just trying to live by that you’ll find what is valuable to you. That even if we take the easy and convenient way at first, we’ll still find ourselves uncomfortable of where we are, and home is still not home until we do our best to find our own thing. That even if there are examples and patterns, we will deviate from those because we want something different. And from there, we’ll begin to see ourselves more and clearer. One day, we’ll be more welcoming of who we see when we stand in front of the mirror, relaxed and at home.
Life’s not about who can figure it first, so don’t race on it.
The struggle in what ifs is undeniable; in most instances, what ifs are inevitably bothersome. What makes it even more of a trouble is the fact that it is unavoidable. To some extent, there is no point in trying to leave it out of the situation. What ifs come naturally as if it’s the main character of the story. What a queen.
My question is why? Why is it like that? Why do we question the situation, our options, the results that aren’t even there yet? Is it the lack of confidence? Fear? Or are we simply being realistic about life? That we prepare ourselves to the alternative in the event that whatever it is that we’re hoping for doesn’t happen?
I have only heard it a couple of times, that some days you’ll just wake up and want to cry. Today’s the first for me. Maybe a part of it is because of the weather; the cold wind could be bringing such weird emotions. I have been frustrated the past months about academics, with all the pressure that’s surfacing around the air. I got over it, or so I thought, during the holidays. I was able to take a step back and just relax for a while. During those times I was able to reflect of what I’ve been doing lately, both in the academics and my involvements in school. Having listed in my head those realizations, I have found things I am proud of, while there are some that I just need to move on from. That was my thought a month ago, before school started the second semester.
Now I am here, back to step 1. Confronting my down sides and enumerating my faults. I didn’t know I could be so frustrating. I woke up this morning and just felt like I needed to cry. I attended my only class for the day and we were dismissed an hour earlier. I found the chance to quickly run the errands for the activity we’re holding for tomorrow. I was still feeling down so I just decided to attend the 12 noon mass in our school chapel, and also because I have the time anyway. It’s funny because every time I go there, I always have these questions to ask to Him. I had 10 minutes before the mass started so I wrote them, my questions. About everything I wanted an answer with. Then the mass started. I stopped writing and just listened, in hopes of hearing what I need to hear, whatever it may be. And in some ways, I guess I’ve got an answer.
Maybe He made it possible that I had an early off from class just so I could attend the mass and hear the words that I need to understand. Today I was reminded of the things I have already learned before but forgotten, all because I’m being so hard on myself. The thing about our frustrations in life is that we are the only answer to it. We are the only ones capable to cure ourselves. I wouldn’t say it’s easy. I wouldn’t say there’s fast way to it. But, we are and our will to change our perspective are the answer.
Some people find comfort in music. Some even treat it as companion; as they say, when no one else is there to listen, music makes it easier to stay quiet but still be so loud.
I believe people who are so in love with music feel all different kinds of emotions. Because there’s so much a song can speak; the people who knows how to listen can feel everything the lyrics says. It’s incredibly amazing how the melody expresses what the words convey. It holds so much yet it transpires hundreds of messages to thousands of other people.
Music. Simple, complicated and delicate. Like feelings and moments. It’s ironic how some say they have hard time putting into words how they feel, and then makes music out of it. I guess that’s the magic and beauty of it. Songs allow you to say the things you can never say out directly. You can story-tell as much as you want and still keep bits and pieces to yourself. Making it way more comfortable and pleasant to hear than rants or vents or sighs.
Song. It has no definite meaning. It can have so much story. It all depends on who listens to it.
Be someone’s melody and make your words be its lyrics.
11. Is there any specific person you would like to meet?
If after reading this question and you’re first impression is like why, we probably felt the same. The question doesn’t imply anything at first read but over and over, if you try to contemplate what does this ask, it becomes sensible. No?
Lately, I see some teenagers’ tweets are about looking for someone — special friend, friend or a best friend. We think the answer to our loneliness and longings are people who can fill the empty spaces, the blanks. In truth, we have no one specific in our mind who we want to meet, because we need to meet them. We ask of fate, of destiny, of God, to give us the person who will be with us through anything. If this is your case, just let things come naturally. The day will come when you’ll never have to wish for it, because it’s already right in front of you.
If you have someone really specific who you’d want to meet, come to this person. No one knows when the time is right. Approach them when you feel like it, but do not ever hold back for the fear of rejection. Rejection is better than not trying at all.